Magic Little Dust

Noooo it's not cocaine...it's a hellava lot better
are you ready?
I don't think you are...
so this might scar you a little bit
but I don't really care
not that much at least....
are you ready? It's....
NUTRITIONAL YEAST!
(that obviously wasn't meant to be a poem)

I kinda wanna take this, decant it into some cute orange bins, and go around selling it as "I Can't Believe It's Not Cheese!'* Like I took some bread, spread on some Smart Balance, sprinkled this shiz on it and IT TASTED LIKE CHEESY BREAD! So many doors are opening up for me right now...spaghetti, bread, vegan mac and cheese, 'cheesy' vegan cornbread.......*sigh* oops! Sorry, got lost in thought for a sec.

Anyhoo, this is amazing. Sorta strong and tangy...a little like parmesan for those of you who remember it. Plus it's NUTRITIONAL, I mean-how can you go wrong if it's freaking good for you? Sure, it may not have been the best choice to have 5 slices of bread with margarine and this on it in one sitting but I'm sure I'm all nutritional so it must be ok.

So go out to the store and yet some Nutritional Yeast right freaking NOW! You won't regret it. Go. Go. Now. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......
hmmm, I've been trying to do hypnosis for the last couple of days but it doesn't seem to be working. Oh well. Read my footnote and be on your way :)




**'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' isn't vegan btw

Sinful Cake Brownie

Well you know how sometimes my style of cooking is just sorta throwing a bunch of yummy things on the stove and seeing if together they make one new big yummy thing? (My logic is flawless.) Well I DIDN'T do that this time! I actually used knowledge of ratios and stuff! I deserve to be promoted into Smart Kids' Math.
So this time I made what I call 'Sinful Cake Brownie.' Except it's not sinful cuz nothing needs to die or be hurt to make it! Kidding! Not really. Heh. Vegans.

And it's kinda good for you!

You will need the following:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cups unsweetened cocoa powder (I like dutch-press but any kind'll do)

1 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

1 1/4 cups vegan sugar

1/2 cup vegan margarine

3/4 cup coffee (room temp. or cooler)

2 tsp. vanilla extract

4 squares chopped Baker's semisweet chocolate or 1/3 cup vegan chocolate chips

1/3 cup oats

1 tablespoon chia seeds (optional)

The Procedure

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Oil (I sprayed it with PAM but they also have Smart Balance PAM stuff or you could smear it with some margarine in a pinch) a cake pan (go with a deepish one if you can. Otherwise do a normal 8-inch brownie pan)

In a large bowl mix your flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

In an electric mixter cream the sugar and margarine. Slowly add the coffee (make sure it's cooled or it'll melt the butter!) and vanilla extract. Then fold the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients. Fold in the chocolate, oats, and chia.

Scrape the batter into your prepared cake pan and bake for 40 minutes. A good way of telling if it's done is prick the center with a fork and if the tines come out with clumped cake-y stuff on them it's good. If the tines come out with oozy batter on them then keep baking. If the tines come out clean, then, well, I'm sorry. Your cake is overcooked and will be dry. Not my fault.

If you want to serve the cake brownie to others then wait for 30 minutes before cutting into it or else it'll crumble.

If you're eating alone then just wait until it's cool enough to not burn your tongue and have at it because let's face it-you just made a damn good cake brownie. Keep telling yourself the oats make it good for you, that'll allow you to rationalize seconds ;)

I like to pour chocolate soymilk over my cake to cut the richness and if you're being fancy then maybe you can pour the soymilk around the sides while serving slices on petite little saucers. So you're fancy AND a good cook AND a vegan-basically the whole package, sister.

Bounty Pudding (for thee who imbibes cocoa)

There are the days I really need some chocolate. There are the days I need to feel wholesome. There are the days when I really don't have the patience for baking. Sadly, today all of these days were TOday. So I sorta made this recipe up by pulling a Colonial Hog and rooting around for some good shit in the pantry. As a result of my endeavors, I'm going to dub this little delicacy "Bounty Pudding" because...it's pudding...and it's bountiful.  Duh.You're not very smart, are you?

Why does everything look prettier in a wineglass?

You will need the following:
1 1/2 cups chocolate soymilk
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 tbs unsweetened shredded coconut
1/2 cup oats
1/4 cup slivered almonds/chopped pecans/chopped walnuts
1 ripe banana, chopped
2 squares chopped Baker's semisweet chocolate or 1/4 cup vegan chocolate chips
2 teaspoons chia or flaxseed

The Procedure
Take your soymilk and set it on medium-low heat in a small saucepan. Then take the cornstarch, coconut, and oats and toss 'em all in there. Begin to whisk, from now on only take a break from whisking to add more ingredients. If you stop whisking for too long it'll clump. After about 2 minutes, throw in the almonds. Stir for another minute. Now toss in the bananas and chocolate, by now the mixture should be thickening. Keep stirring until the chocolate is melted and the mixture reaches a pudding-like consistancy (remember, it'll thicken as it cools, too).
Throw in your chia at last minute (if it gets too warm it'll lose its Omega-3s). Now you have two options.
1-you can pop it in the fridge overnight and have a delicious pudding for the morning (cuz you're so rebelious you eat dessert for breakfast, man)

2-EAT IT RIGHT FREAKING NOW! You don't care that it's hot, you'll just dip some grannysmith apples in it and call it healthy fondue! You'll serve it with some vegan soy vanilla ice cream! You'll eat it straight from the pan because no one is looking! Do itttttt

Chocolate and bananas. Proof God is real.