Pieeerrrfect Pierogies

Every good thing comes with a price. That said, let me start out by saying I nearly burnt down the house. Operative word here being nearly. Just remember kids, hot oil+water=fire (for some strange chemistry reason I could PROBABLY figure out but choose not to).
Another thing-when you make pierogies you totally forget what a pain in the arse they are to make and you only remember the yummyness. So this note is just for me: PIEROGIES ARE A FREAKING PAIN IN THE ASS!
Also, you usually end up making too much filling and you're stuck with spiced mashed potatoes that everyone is too full of pierogies to devour so you're forced to try and freeze them and see what happens.

If you're still reading then I can conclude that you're damn crazy and you're probably a freak for fried food. We should be friends, you and I.

You will need the following:

for the dough-

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1/2 cup of hot water

for the filling-

• 4 russet potatoes
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1 1/2 teaspoons Old Bay Seasoning or Cajun Seasoning (adjust to taste)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil

You'll want extra olive oil for frying (a lot extra)

Dough

Throw flour and salt into food processor and pulse until evenly distributed.

Turn machine on all the way and slowly drizzle the olive oil in through the top.

Add water the same way. The dough should form into a tacky ball. If this does not occur then you may add up to 1/4 cup more of hot water. If you add too much hot water then just sprinkle in more flour through the top with the machine on-this dough is quite forgiving.

Set aside.

Filling

Prick potatoes with knife or fork and microwave for 5 minutes, flip, and then for another 2-7 minutes (the time can vary depending on microwave strength and potato size. Just keep stabbing with a fork every 2 minutes until it feels like the right consistency (a bit firmer than mashed potatoes but definitely edible).

Take out potatoes and turn on cold water in the sink. With the water running over your hands, it's quite easy to use your fingers to scrape the skins off the hot potatoes.

Throw potatoes into a bowl and mash with the pepper, Old Bay, and olive oil (DO NOT OVER-MASH!)

Together at Last <3

Set a large pot of water to boil and pour about 2 tablespoons of olive oil into a frying pan (I like cast-iron)

Meanwhile....

Take half the dough and roll out on a floured surface in something like a square or rectangle that is about 1/4-1/8th of an inch thick. Cut the square into smaller squares that are about 3x3 inches. In the middle of the dough, plop about a tablespoon of the filling and fold dough over, patting down until it's in the shape of a rectangle. Dip a fork in some water and use the fork to firmly press down the edges

Do this procedure to all the pierogies. Remember that frying pan with the olive oil in it? Turn the heat to medium beneath it and by now the water in the other pan should be boiling.

Now take 3 pierogies and drop them into the boiling water and wait until they rise to the surface of the water (about 3 minutes)

 Once they rise to the surface of the water, you'll want a slotted or holey spoon like this:

Use this sort of spoon to scoop the pierogies out from the water and into the sizzling oil, let as much water as you can fall from the pierogies back into the boiling pot before you put them in the oil. Be ready to jump back because the oil will sizzle something fierce (see footnote).

Fry the pierogies until golden brown

Use your trusted holey spoon and scoop the pierogies from the oil and onto a plate with paper towels on it. You'll want to keep layering the paper towels over each layer of the pierogies so they don't get greasy.

Speaking of grease, you'll wanna replenish your oil in the pan every so often (it'll evaporate and get soaked up) so that your pierogies don't char or stick to the bottom of the pan. Remember, oil is hot and can cause fires and try not to do this home alone or at least not without a trusty neighbor to call on for assistance if a fire breaks loose (see footnote).

Finally, you're finished! Now you can try dipping your pierogies in balsamic vinegar, vegan sour cream, or just enjoy 'em plain!

P. S. Veganously is not responsible for any burns, fires, messes, or unpleasant results of this recipe.

FOOTNOTE: If a fire breaks out then turn off the heat, cover the pan, and if that fails-call a trusted adult who won't tattle on you and perhaps try to smother the fire with baking soda.

If THAT fails then call 911, put on a push-up bra and your most smoldering makeup, and wait for them sexy firemen to come bursting through your door.

My friend met her husband that way.

Ok, not really.

But wouldn't that be nice?

Doesn't hurt to be prepared, girlfriend!