Freaking Kale. No One Likes Kale.

Kale sucks. My mom makes kale chips. They suck. Kale's the worst.

This is my accusing face

I'm saying all this as I sip a green smoothie, she won't tell me what's in it.
Oh. Damn.
Iroooonic. This smoothie has kale in it!
If you mix 2 leaves of kale in with your typical banana-soymilk smoothie you CAN'T taste it! I use my vitamix and it grins up the stalks really well so you don't even chew! Try it some time, it's good and good FOR you ;)

Your Basic Fake Egg

The credit for this miracle-worker goes to my sister, Aja (she's the ex-vegan who we hate now. Let's call her Gordon just to piss her off) made. This stuff doesn't work to bind together latkes or matzoh balls (sorry, fellow Jews :( ) but it's great for baked goods. Just use this whenever I say 'fake egg.' It's easier than buying egg substitutes anyways. It won't leaven as much as an egg but it'll leaven some and it'll bind.

The fake egg looks boring and kina like seafoam

so why not insert a pic of some punk chirren

frolicking in seafoam?

You will need the following:

• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 tablespoons flour
• 3 tablespoons water

The Procedure

Whisk everything together (don't overmix) until all fluid and combined.

Use whenever I call for 'fake egg' :)

Get it? They're fake eggs! LOL!

Sorry, bad puns

Vegan Chocolate Doesn't Mean Shitty Chocolate

Ok, I feel like it was an accident when Baker's brand chocolate made their stuff vegan. I mean, seriously! It's so easy to get and soooo chocolaty and tastes just like Nestle chocolate chips but without all the animal suffering.  So get Baker's Semi-Sweet Baking Chocolate Squares for all your vegan chocolate needs. They kick carob's ass...with a chainsaw.

This shit makes me slightly crazy.

Then chop them up into tiny little bits like this: